Voices: A Girl’s Pocket Guide to Bisexuality
By Cierra
1. Online dating is a minefield. Listing your sexuality invites every creep within a 100 mile radius to ask you for a threesome. They feel entitled to your sexual history. “Have you ever had sex with a girl?” “Do you prefer men or women?” Then there are the guys that think they can “fix” you. “I think you just need to get with a real man.” Your sexual prowess won’t turn me on let alone turn me straight.
2. We’re a one night stand, not a girlfriend. Bisexual girls are not relationship material. We can’t pick a gender to be attracted to, so how could we possibly choose one partner to be loyal to. Bi girls are the story you tell your buddies Monday morning. We’re the girl you hooked up with because you’ve “never slept with a bisexual before.” We’re the pretty girl at the bar you saw kissing another girl, and you enjoyed the show. Just last month you saw us making out with a guy. They’re clearly looking for attention thinks the straight guy in the corner who’s been screaming obscenities and chugging beers.
3. We’re really just looking for an excuse to be slutty. Our sexual orientation is not the result of a complex interaction between biology, psychology, and personality. Bisexual girls are just sluts. They aren’t looking to settle down, Bi girls are going through a crazy phase. They want to have a lot of sex, so why not double the dating pool by accepting offers from both genders. Why look for things like shared interests or compatible personalities when all a bi girl is really looking for is sex? Bi girls don’t have crushes, just prey we want to crush with our thighs.
4. This is all just a phase.” Monosexuality (being attracted to one gender) makes sense to most people. Whether or not one agrees with being gay or lesbian, most people can wrap their heads around it. However, once you start throwing multiple genders in your dating pool, the common people get a bit confused. Being attracted to more than one gender is such a hard concept for people to grasp, it is easier for them to erase your sexuality than acknowledge it. “Well you were dating a girl, so I thought you were a lesbian.” No matter how many times you tell people you’re bisexual, your orientation will always be seen as a phase before you choose to be straight or gay.
5. You’re stronger than you think. As a bisexual women, we take hits from every side. Straight people don’t understand us, gay people fear us, and other bisexuals seem rarer than unicorns. Safe spaces are few and far between, yet here we stand. We take the questions, the abuse, and the doubt and crush it. This world tries to get us to pick a side, to be straight or be gay and be happy with that, but we know better. We know that our identity is valid, and no one is taking that from us.