I’ve lived in Muncie, Indiana, all 21 years of my life. During this time, I have experienced some of the highest highs and lowest lows I can imagine.

There have been days where I take a shower with the lights off at 1 p.m., the sounds of my fists pounding against my thighs and stomach, vibrating off the walls of my parent’s empty house. There have also been days where I happily open the passenger side car door of my Nissan Altima for my partner, a gesture that I hope never gets lost on me.

Between it all, there has always been a consistent destination for my escape.

AMC Muncie 12 has stood in the same lot on the north side of town for my entire life. I can’t imagine my home city without it. Although the former AMC Showplace 7 in Muncie was open for the first 11 years of my life, I only recall seeing a film there once or twice. While minor renovations have somewhat changed the look of Muncie 12, I still feel like a little kid every time I smell popcorn before even entering the building.

As an adolescent, I didn’t realize what the theater would eventually mean to me — it was just somewhere my parents and I ventured on a day without any other plans.

My parents tell me my first time stepping foot in Muncie 12 was as a one-year-old going to see “The Incredibles” in 2004. My parents often laugh when they remember me hitting my head on a guardrail, ending the evening prematurely. My father says my first “real” experience in Muncie 12 was two years later, lasting the entire runtime of “Cars.”

My earliest memories of the cinema came from sitting in collapsing, red chairs made up of plastic and fabric, watching animated films such as “Up” on Mother’s Day 2009, “Bolt” in 2008 as my father snored beside me or “Alvin and the Chipmunks” two nights before Christmas that same year. My stepfather tells me the moment he knew I had a true passion for the movie theater was in 2014 when he took me to see “Guardians of the Galaxy.”

Ten years later, I still remember the anticipation that filled every inch of my body when my stepfather, mother and I took our seats at the very top row of a Muncie 12 showroom to watch Marvel’s latest installment. We didn’t yet know who the characters of the franchise were, but if there was a superhero movie in theaters when I was 11 years old, we were going.

That time was different. I couldn’t stop talking about what we just watched once the credits rolled after 122 minutes of magic. I can remember sitting in the back seat of my mother’s tan Camry, poking my head through the middle console to give my parents my full thoughts on the movie.

Looking back, I had more than one transformative experience in the AMC Muncie 12.

A 2024 study by the Advan Research Center showed that movie theater attendance rates have fallen 33 percent in the last five years, surely due to the wild popularity of streaming services like Netflix, Hulu and MAX. Additionally, the average cost of a movie ticket at an AMC Theatre has risen from $8.65 in 2016 to $11.90 in 2023, according to Statista.

However, my ventures to the cinema haven’t slowed down a bit, and I still get that childlike feeling I’ve always had. But during my three previous years of college, I took most of my trips to AMC Muncie 12 for a different reason.

I didn’t want to bother any of my friends or family due to the body dysmorphia and eating disorder issues I had going on at the time. Since that was all I could think about when I wasn’t working, I isolated myself.

While the suicidal thoughts I had two years prior never arose again, I felt more alone than I ever had in 2023. Although I had a well-paying job, a supportive family and a good financial situation, I spent almost all of my free time by myself.

The only thing that made me feel whole during that period of time was film. Watching two movies a day in bed was one thing, but driving less than 10 minutes to AMC Muncie 12 was a different level of fulfillment.

I signed up for an AMC Stubs membership, and with a payment of just $20 a month, I could see three free films in the cinema weekly. I took full advantage — going to see films I wasn’t even particularly excited about, just mildly interested in.

I just needed anything to distract myself from reality and immerse myself in another world.

In a November 2021 article published by The Science Survey, it was found that the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (ELSA) observed that people who attended the movie theater, among other in-person entertainment options on a monthly basis, were 48 percent less likely to show symptoms of depression.

At Muncie 12, I could go and release all of my pent-up emotions. Whether that meant streams of tears running down my face during the closing moments of “The Iron Claw,” howling with laughter during nearly every minute of “Poor Things” or expanding my view of life itself as I sat in awe of “Asteroid City,” I felt safe each time a new emotion entered my mind. It didn’t have anything to do with the cushy, red reclining seat, it had everything to do with the oft-underestimated impact of film.

I don’t spend as much time at the movie theater anymore. That’s partly because I don’t have as much free time and partly because I don’t need to like I did last summer.

I have found a balance between healthy alone time and unhealthy seclusion, cherishing relationships with the close friends and families I have. And still, the movie theater is not just a safe place for me, but a way of coping.

Sometimes I think back to the darkest moments of my life while I watch a character in the latest picture struggle through a traumatic event. I may not know the person depicted on screen, but I feel like I do. Sometimes, I feel like the director or actor just understands me in a way no one else can at the time.

Even if I spend far more time at my rental house, my mother’s home, my partner’s place or on Ball State University’s campus than I spend at AMC Muncie 12, I never feel as fully immersed in a location as I do at the cinema.

I can leave my past traumas or current anxieties at the door or bring them into the theater with me, and that is the most liberating part of the movies: How you feel is your choice. AMC Muncie 12 only enhances that choice.

Contact Kyle Smedley via email at kyle.smedley@bsu.edu or via X @KyleSmedley_.

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